I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a baby, I've been allergic to any other collegiate football team. One time, some OSU person tried to strike up a conversation with me, but I suddenly gained the speed of that really fast runner who just won some big race a few weeks ago, and sprinted to the Big House to calm myself down. Or maybe I didn't want scarlet and gray pox.
I've supported you unwaveringly throught the Win Drought of 2008. Even though you just kept losing and losing, and even lost to Unmentionable Teams, I still went to Michigan Stadium every time there was a game. I defended you, saying, "They'll come back!" everytime you were losing. I sang along to "Living on a Prayer" everytime you were living on a prayer.
I've endured several hundred nefarious text messages from Notre Dame douchebags (and replied more than once with, "Fuck you!"). Even though I have unlimited text messaging, I still felt as though my text messages were being wasted.
I've sat through the sun, rain, and snow for you. I have glasses tan lines! My t-shirts smelled all mildewy because they got wet in the rain (and subsequently I forgot to wash them).
I did all this because, well, Michigan, I believe in you.
Please don't let "shitfuckballs" be my mantra again this year. Give me something to believe in!
PS Does anyone have an extra ticket to the game against Western Michigan?